August 27th, 2008

9-year-old boy told he’s too good to pitch


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  1. TheARRGH

    I have seen the truth, and it is goddamned funny.

  2. Evrai Terrule

    Brilliant. Simply brilliant. At first I was concerned about you’re ending Alien Loves Predator but after watching for a little while I am in fact convinced that this is the best thing for all of us. You’re strips are simply hilarious and I love the fact that you post them so often. It gives me a bit of humor to look forward to in my day. Thanks and keep up the great work. Of course don’t be too great, otherwise you’ll be told you’re too good to be making comics on the internet!

  3. Neil (AOD)

    Thats so unfair on the poor kid- that said, maybe if they fast-tracked him into a higher league it would be best; like a young kid studying at an older kids level. Whatever, the comic is rather funny in that sense- holding humanity back when it tries to move forwards.

  4. Antony

    Wonderful! All very silly. Particularly the Women’s Suffrage.

    I hereby officially request that panel be made into a shirt.

  5. Benjamin

    Bernie, I was a huge fan of AvP and was worried that you’d lose the funny when you switched formats — nothing could be further from the truth. I’ll miss Abe and Pres, but holy crap these are really hilarious comics.

  6. andy

    I think the Nice Wall is a nice idea.

  7. Sharkar

    Very funny Good job :D

  8. Phill

    I’ve read it like 5 times, and I just don’t quite get it. In fact, I went back and read it *one* more time, and I pretty much don’t get it at all. :-/ Guess I’m in the minority here, but I’m not really taking a shine to these. I will say kudos for regular updates, but the humor’s not clicking with me.

  9. tiki god

    See now, the joke is actually on the cartoonist. The story is, there’s this kid playing in a small town local kid’s baseball club, he’s nine years old, but is able to pitch at 40mph, which is crazy insane speeds for that age bracket. The the league officials said that he’s too good for the beginners team he was on, and needed to either go to the advanced league that they didn’t control, or move to a different position, perhaps one that he wouldn’t be able to kill someone by making a mistake and beaning them on the head.

    In essence, it came down to one really good kid verse a whole league of kids that just weren’t on his level. So instead of doing what they should, (move him where he can compete at his own level and actually learn and grow) his parents are trying to sue the league to keep him on the team, which was disbanded when the coach wouldn’t move the kid to a different position per the league’s instructions.

    My question is: what kind of kid are they trying to raise? One that wants to compete with people of his own caliber, or one that wants to lord his obviously superior abilities over everyone else that he can? IMHO he has no right to be playing with kids that are just starting out with baseball, and just recently figured out which end of the bat to hold onto.

  10. tiki god

    Also: Garfield sucks.

  11. BenMech

    but http://www.garfieldminusgarfield is awesome in badness

  12. StKev

    I’m still bitter. It’s time to get out the guns and Bibles.

  13. Sean

    Sorry tiki, but there’s another side here. While I agree that it would be best to get the kid into a higher-level league, there’s no way someone would get injured badly. In Little League, they have helmets with facemasks now, and 40 MPH is NOT that fast. I played Little League (and, in fact, on through high school) and got plunked my share of times. The coaches ran out with the cold spray, I jogged to first base, and planned to knock the tar out of the ball the next time I was up.

    I actually wonder about the rest of the parents who are afraid of having little Throckmorton actually face someone better than he is and maybe, just maybe, have to deal with failure. Learing to lose with dignity makes you a much better winner.

  14. KylaPan

    I beg you to make the women’s suffrage one into a t-shirt. Please!

  15. Pirata

    Agreed with Sean. I’d also suggest it’s not an easy problem, really. Yep, the kid’s hard to hit against, but moving him isn’t necessarily the best option either. If he’s got enough control to not plunk the kids he plays with/against, then that argument is not sufficient (and the ESPN article suggests that’s the case, as even the league attorney agreed it was true).

    What about the other option being bandied about–move him up? To where? A league where the kids are shaving? Yes, that’s a bit of overstatement, but he’s nine. If he’s in an 8-10 league, then what’s the next level? 10-12? Twelve year old kids have more than just skill and experience, they have size. *That’s* dangerous. This kid’s just got talent.

    If he’s not hurting anyone, he should be allowed to play. He can’t pitch every game; even major league pitchers don’t do that. It’s terrible sportsmanship to teach to these kids, and a major disservice to them to boot, to teach them that they just quit when they’re outclassed. What happens down the line, when they’re in a hard way in school, or at a job, or with a spouse? What do they draw on? The quitting when it’s hard?

    At least they didn’t have my little league: at nine, the coaches would pitch at us. One of the opposing coaches actually intentionally hit me, because I was a good batter and he admitted to it even–after the game. His reasoning? “It builds character.” Wonder what the parents of today, and this league, would do with that?

    Excellent comic!

  16. Gamble

    heh this reminds me of the incredibles

  17. Thelonemonk

    First, nice job on this Bern.

    Second, I don’t recall a radar gun when I was in youth baseball. We had no idea how fast someone was throwing, nor did we care. You go out an hit.

    Third, you can’t ban a kid with a 40 mph fastball when these little monsters are using aluminum bats. That’s what will put a hurt on a kid. You take a ball off of an aluminum bat in the chest and you could be dead. Get the priorities straight.

  18. Writer Wolf

    These just keep getting better and better, I miss AlP, but this is much better work!

  19. Jon B

    Gold, Bernie. That’s all I can say. Keep up the great work.

  20. Echiboo

    Love what your doing so far with IYSS, keep it up!
    I would like it if you kept doing ALP though.
    P.S. I agree with Sean,Pirata, and Thelonemonk

  21. MC Auto

    Hey, I like clicking the links to read the stories, but this one doesn’t work!

  22. holokaustos

    # tiki god
    August 27th, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    Also: Garfield sucks.

    LOL! Absolutely. Ever see the site “Garfield minus Garfield”?

  23. Brian

    Personally, the best part of this whole comic is the “Nice Wall of China”. It’s like, 8 feet tall, and maybe 4 feet wide, but the one mongol is climbing over anyways.

  24. Kick Out the Fifth Grader « Off the Tenure Track

    [...] it’s a shame that the league told a fifth-grader that he’s too talented for his age, but it would have been a greater shame to ruin the fun of the game for even one more [...]

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